In bizarre news from my alma mater, University of Georgia sophomore Jeremiah Ransom was pinned down by an ATF officer in plain clothes near Snelling Hall. For those of you who didn't go to UGA, "Snelling" is a dining hall on Georgia's South Campus near Myers Hall.

Apparently, the kid was coming from a pirates/ninjas function at Wesley United Methodist. He was still wearing his ninja bandana and running to the dining hall when these federal agents freaked out, imagined they saw a gun and told everybody to "get down."

Stop. Hello! Ninjas don't use guns, dumbass: they use throwing stars or swords. Not only that, but if Jeremiah had really been a ninja, he would have "flipped out" and killed your sorry ass while "porking" his girlfriend (You need to go to that link to understand what I'm saying here).

THE POINT: Yes, this guy was kinda stupid to be running around looking like he was going to hold-up Snelling for lunch money. But give me a break, did he really need to be face-planted into the concrete? I don't think so. This was straight not autoDogmatic. People have rights, ya know.

And finally, yes, Wesley has spent entirely too much time on realultimatepower.net to throw a function with a pirate/ninja theme. No matter how hard I try, I can only begin to imagine how ridiculously lame this party must have been.

BOTTOM LINE: Had Jeremiah been dressed up like Chuck Norris, he would have had no problems: the ATF agents would have simply exploded from looking at him.